Cafe de Desiree

June 27, 2015

Love-no one should be denied it

Filed under: Blogging,current issues,life — desi83 @ 8:02 am
Tags: , , ,

My facebook feed was throwing up rainbows today. I’m sure I am not alone in this. Even if you have no interest in the issue and most of your friends have no interest, it has been the main story of every major news outlet. Agree or disagree, marriage equality was passed by our Supreme Court today, and this will matter for our future. A white woman pretending to be black and getting fired from the NAACP will not matter a year from now. Josh Duggar won’t matter. I can think of several other recent stupid stories that blew up my newsfeed lately that won’t matter. But this changes our society just like Roe vs Wade or Brown vs Board of Education. The Civil Rights act, the amendment that allowed women to vote, the amendment that allowed bi-racial marriage…these events changed our society, evolved it. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I thought about gay marriage years ago. Then I got to a point where I didn’t care. Today, though, I reflected on it by looking at myself. Yes, because human beings are selfish creatures, and until we can look at a situation from our own self-centered eyes, we don’t understand or care.

I am 32 years old, and I am single. I have dated and had relationships, and it’s not that I can’t find a person who wants to be with me. I just haven’t found the right person for me. Yet, I do have the freedom to explore my options and marry someone if and when I do find that person. So then I imagine if I were suddenly living in a country where I wasn’t allowed to marry a man. If I walked down the street with a man, we would be met with scrutiny. People might laugh at us or call us gross. In this new land, I might mention to my parents that I like a boy at school, and they are filled with fear. No one will accept me. No one will like me. How will my attraction to men affect their reputation? So they need time to process this, because they love me but they didn’t mean to raise a daughter who wants to have sex with men. How did this happen? Where did they go wrong? I might go several years without dating anyone because I don’t want to upset the people around me.

One day, let’s say I fall in love with this man, and in this new land, I am told that I can date him, and I can even have a fake wedding with him. But I can’t have a real marriage and a real wedding officiated by an actual official. So, I ask, what should I do? I can’t change the fact that I am attracted to men. It’s an attraction that I’ve felt since I was able to interact with people. It’s not something that I decided. In this land, I am a church goer, a follower of God. My church tells me that it isn’t right. I should resist the temptation of the sin. What is your answer? I should just live alone? I should just force myself to be with people I’m not attracted to? I should just live the rest of my life without being in love with someone?

I’m not going to pretend that I know how you feel if you are gay. I can only imagine how that process works…having to deal with society, your family, etc. when you tell them that you’re gay. I do know that the thought of living the rest of my life alone, without a partner to share it with, is fucking depressing. God, nature, spirit, whatever you want to call it, did not intend for humans to live solitary lives. It is our nature to find a mate to share our lives with. True, women and men were created with sexual organs┬áto breed more humans. But your sexual orientation is more of an instinct than a choice, so whatever the reason, some humans were born with the instinct to be with those of the same sex. Currently, most of our world is populating at rate that is difficult for our Earth to sustain with its limited resources. Also, heterosexuals still outnumber homosexuals. So, I don’t for see the Earth’s population deteriorating due to homosexual marriage. Their love hurts no one. No one should be denied love. I think today was a huge step in the right direction for our evolution into a more loving, intelligent society.

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