Cafe de Desiree

February 15, 2018

It Comes and Goes

Filed under: anxiety,life,Uncategorized — desi83 @ 12:37 am
Tags: ,

It’s wanting to cry but not being able to release no matter how much you want to. It’s having your heart flutter and your body tense up so much that you feel like you’re coming apart. It’s your chest becoming tight as you try to breath through the weight of it all. It’s smiling and laughing at work while you just want to scream and throw things. It’s not being sure if I’m right or wrong in my anger and frustration. It’s a mix of guilt, anger, fear, and the sadness that I try to hide-not the ideal cocktail. It’s a loss of control. It’s a storm brewing inside that comes out in short bursts, and then it gets worse because of the embarrassment. It’s lonely and dark there. It’s selfish because it doesn’t care about anyone else’s feelings. It’s a monster inside that threatens to destruct everything in its path. It comes and goes, and the triggers are unpredictable. I just wait it out until it goes and hope that there’s not too much collateral damage. I just wait and hope that the triggers will pass or that I can figure out how to work through them without losing myself. I just need to be in control of it.

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