Cafe de Desiree

January 13, 2014

Blank Canvas

Filed under: life,relationships — desi83 @ 7:13 pm
Tags: , ,

This is (hopefully) my last semester in college. I earned my B.A. in English in 2006. I don’t want to put into writing exactly how many years ago that was. Since then, I have held several jobs that I hated too much to turn into actual careers. I have been in too many relationships that taught me a lot of lessons, sometimes more than once, and left me feeling beaten and battered. I have pretty much lost my faith in romantic relationships for myself, but I have been a witness to countless engagements, marriages, and births amongst my group of friends. I just haven’t been able to find my path, and I keep trying to force myself to accept what is not right for me because I feel like I have to accept what is available to me. I’m just not a very patient person. I took a year to spend exploring career ideas without the pressure of having to work to pay bills. I lived with my parents for a year, and I was a substitute teacher. I would’ve gotten paid just as much flipping burgers, sadly. I did it to really explore teaching as a possible career, and I was able to try out different grade levels. I actually loved it most days, especially when I was in the elementary schools. I can use my creativity, I can connect with kids and be a positive influence on their lives, and I can feel the excitement as their brains soak up knowledge like little sponges! This summer, I will be certified k-12 (highly qualified in English 7-12). I feel like this is my opportunity to start over. I have no ties to this place anymore. I have friends and my parents, but they are not binding me here. I am going to choose a few locations in other cities, and possibly other states. I need to be in a new place, even if just for a little while. I love the mountains and the beach, and I feel like the Southeast is my home, so that narrows it down a bit. I want to visit places outside of my “home”, but for my first move away from my hometown of middle Tennessee, I don’t want to go so far that I can’t visit pretty regularly. It is comforting to know that I have this opportunity and freedom to go wherever I want. I am not bound, and I will never settle for less than what I deserve, what makes me happy. This is my blank canvas, and I can paint whatever I want with the colors I choose.


1 Comment »

  1. Good luck!

    My only advice would be to not limit yourself to the south. 🙂

    Comment by Michael Harley — January 13, 2014 @ 11:34 pm | Reply

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