Cafe de Desiree

January 22, 2013

The world is not all rainbows and butterflies

Filed under: Blogging,dating,life,relationships — desi83 @ 2:55 am

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Recently I had a realization that I am growing out of my idealism that people in this world are generally good and can be trusted. I got scammed out of a few hundred dollars because someone charming offered me what I thought sounded like a good opportunity. Details were left out of the contract with a footnote that read “see terms of use for more information” in tiny writing on the very bottom. I didn’t realize that I was getting locked into a year long contract that would automatically deduct money from my account every month for an entire year. It was a personal training service that I thought I could try for a month, and if I didn’t like it or didn’t want to pay for it anymore, I could just end it. Not so much, and there was a huge cancellation fee involved. Anyway, this occurance brought up memories of men who have deceived me, as well as people in professional situations or people I thought were friends. Through all of those deceptions, I still maintained that people were basically good and could be trusted. This scam, however, was like a smack in the face for me. I was extremely depressed for a couple of days, not just because I lost money (in the general scheme of things, a few hundred dollars lost won’t matter years from now) but because it was a realization that people are not generally to be trusted because people are selfish and will stomp on anyone to get what they want. I want to be idealistic and believe in love, trust, and harmony. But where does that get me? If I had my guard up and asked more questions or did more research when the trainer talked to me about joining, I wouldn’t have ended up in that mess. But because I trusted that he was helping me and had my best interest at heart, I ended up in a money pit. Another problem with that contract-it auto renews after a year. So it was like an eternal contract. It was like selling one’s soul to the devil.

In my new relationship, I find myself looking for red flags and questioning what he says and his intentions with me. It all sounds romantic and perfect, but he could leave me tomorrow, or he could be romancing someone else. I have given so much to past relationships that I have felt stripped down emotionally and completely exhausted. For what? For a guy who probably didn’t care that much in the first place because he had his issues and was looking for someone to fix them. So, now I tread lightly into this, yet at the same time I do find myself getting wrapped up in the romance of it all. I let myself fall a little bit and enjoy being happy with him. However, I still have my guard up and won’t say the L-word too fast, because there are parts of me that he has yet to see, and I’m sure he could say the same for himself. The point is, I’m sad that my belief in the good in people has gone to the wayside, and I’m just like my mother in terms of thinking of the worst case scnarios all the time.

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1 Comment »

  1. The thing about people is that we have the capacity for both, good and evil. Even Hitler loved and enjoyed his dog and enjoyed his time with his mistress.

    Yeah, there are lots of crappy people in the world but there are still lots of good people. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. 😉

    Comment by Michael Harley — January 22, 2013 @ 6:38 pm | Reply


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