Cafe de Desiree

November 16, 2012

Finally, the right path?

Filed under: Uncategorized — desi83 @ 2:29 am

I have had one of the best weeks that I’ve had in a long time this week. I really feel I’m on the right track. I felt that I was where I belong-in a school, teaching. I even offered to grade some freshman English papers, and I loved it. I have felt out of place for many years, so I know I’m almost where I need to be. I let fear rule my choices years ago when I turned my back on teaching after one bad year. Kids are still brats, but they are also funny, creative, and absolutely love it when they learn something and can shout out the correct answer in a discussion on Edgar Allen Poe. I totally want to read Poe now after hearing the lesson on the Cask of Amontillado three times today. I’m leaning toward the modified special education program because you’re basically a tutor for those students who are in the special education program who go to regular classes. I like sitting down and really diving into subject matter with a few students and helping them understand something that they just don’t get in the regular classroom with everyone else. I wish I could just start full-time teaching tomorrow because I want the pay so that I can live on my own again. I will have to take classes, though. It will take some time, but I think I am finally on the right track after going the wrong way for the past ten years. I just hate that I wasted so much time from being afraid to try what had always been my dream job just one more time. High school English was a tough gig for a first year teacher, so maybe if I do something that won’t have me grading over a hundred papers every night, I’ll be able to handle it. One of these days, I won’t be living with any of my parents, and I’ll still be able to buy a bottle of Merlot at the end of the day.

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2 Comments »

  1. I’m glad you’re on the right track now, don’t let fear keep you from you dreams. We need more teachers like you in schools today. I hope everything works out for you. I have Sickle Cell, so it’s terribly hard to work, which is why I don’t, I get sick too much. Please don’t give up, I wish I could go after my dream job like you’re doing. DON’T GIVE UP!

    Comment by inquisitiveme87 — November 18, 2012 @ 5:55 am | Reply

    • Thanks for the encouragement:) I had one bad year of teaching high school, but after being in an unfulfilling job for five years, I know that I am meant to go back and try again. I think I will like teaching elementary school. I want to help kids grow into confident, intelligent adults. I hope that you can find a way to live your dreams despite your condition, although I can’t imagine how that must be.

      Comment by desi83 — November 19, 2012 @ 12:37 am | Reply


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