Cafe de Desiree

September 23, 2012

My mall horror story

Filed under: Blogging,life — desi83 @ 4:03 am

After my work-out, I decided to go to the mall to find a new fall outfit. Before I left, I had a minor freak-out about the fact that, while I have many lovely summer duds and sexy dresses to wear to parties and such, my fall wardrobe sucks. I think most of my fall and winter clothes got lost in the attic. I have a tiny bedroom closet, so I pack away clothes that are out of season and bring them back down when the season returns. However, it seems that my box marked “Fall and Winter clothes” has eaten about half of those clothes. So, yeah, after a low impact work-out that didn’t leave me sweaty, I headed to the mall. I scoured all of the cheap teeny bopper stores in search of a suitable casual outfit to wear on this cool night. An hour and a half later, I found something that looked like what I wore in high school. I guess grunge is back in style? You don’t know how happy that makes me. Yeah, I was obsessed with Nirvana and pretty much the whole Seattle grunge rock scene fifteen years ago. So, this plaid shirt and ripped up jeans combo feels like home to me, very nostalgic.

After I had decided to buy this outfit after pacing the floor with it in my hand for awhile, I noticed the sales ladies were staring at me, and it was time for them to close. I made my purchase and headed out, noticing the bars coming down on the front of all the stores. Yes, they look like prison bars to me. I headed to the door through which I’d entered to discover-it was locked. Fuck. I speed walked to the next exit, and jiggled another locked door. I started cursing to myself, then I realized I was saying it kind of loudly. I tried two more doors to no avail. I caught a sunglass hut vendor locking up his little cart, and I frantically asked him how I was supposed to get out of there. He pointed to the doors I’d just tried. I told him they were locked. He didn’t believe me, so he headed over to those doors, I guess to prove to me that I just don’t know how to push open a door.

“They’re not fucking open,” I cried as I headed to Chuck E Cheese because it looked like it was alive with people. I saw a guard, and I shouted, “How do I get out of this mall?” She laughed and told me to go out Chuck E Cheese. I headed that way, then I saw two mall workers heading to the main doors down that side of the mall. I decided to follow them, and stood back as they jiggled the locked doors. Wow, even the workers couldn’t leave the mall. We were all trapped in here. I didn’t want to sleep in the mall. How ridiculous for me to even think that would be an option. I decided to try going through Chuck E Cheese, and the workers followed me. They were happily surprised to find that we could, indeed, exit out of Chuck E Cheese past all of the children staying up past their bed time and the parents that were having beer and pizza and not paying any attention to the kids. I pushed open the door, and the workers thanked me. What the hell? How do they normally leave the mall after work? I seriously thought I was in the midst of some terrible horror movie or some cheesy comedy about being stuck in the mall with a few other people and going through some self-discovery. That fresh air felt quite nice, and I pretty much gave up on trying to do anything else on my Saturday night. Something was telling me to go home.



  1. Sentenced to Life without parole! Beer and Pizza makes everything seem better, even loud children. haha!

    Comment by Michael — July 15, 2014 @ 9:51 pm | Reply

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