Cafe de Desiree

August 8, 2012

Single Problems

Filed under: Blogging,relationships — desi83 @ 7:42 am

For the first time in my life, literally all my friends that I regularly hang out with our in a relationship. My guy friends are almost always single because they love themselves and their video games, and they never seemed to need a girlfriend. Now, they all have girlfriends. Their girlfriends are all younger than me and more into appearance than I am, but as obnoxious as that is to me, they seem nice and most of them seem good for my guy friends. All but one of my female friends have been attached for awhile-either married or living with a guy. Now, the last one is in a relationship, and already they are basically living together. How the fuck did this happen? I don’t even want a boyfriend right now unless I meet someone that is just perfect for me in every way. Even then, I’d need massive space because I’m in the process of self-improvement and making a change from my presently unsatisfying situation. It would, however, be nice to have a friend or two to join me in impromptu movie nights or drinking binges or to call in the middle of the night about some random thought. Everyone is so wrapped up in their relationships, it is ridiculous. I haven’t heard from my newly coupled up friend since she started dating her boyfriend. As a matter of fact, I found out via social network. I know that I have been guilty of this in the past, but during my last few relationships, I made it a point to have time with my friends away from my boyfriend. That is important, because if the relationship fails, it is a bit awkward to suddenly want to be best friends with someone you dropped during the relationship. Or if you are married, after a awhile that spark will fade, and you may begin to resent that same face that you see every day. I mean, if you don’t have lives outside of each other, what will you talk about? I do appreciate the fact that my best friend does try hard to spend time with me as well as her other friends. She has three kids and a husband, yet I see her more than anyone else. She even makes a point to occasionally hang out with her friends without the kids, and I think that is important to her feeling like her own person outside of her role as mother and wife. I think that makes her an even better mother and wife. And she’s damn good at being those things. I do still long for Sex and the City type single girl friends, and I wonder if groups of adult females like that actually exist even in New York. Because here, most people are too busy to go out for brunch, shop at Barney’s, and check out the hottest club all in the same week. Instead of continuing to sulk on this matter, I’m taking myself out on a date this weekend. I’m going to an art museum and a concert by myself, and it’s going to be awesome. I mean, why stop doing fun things just because your single and all your friends are too busy with their relationships? That’s the great thing about Nashville. Whenever I go out to Nashville,  I always end up talking with random people, so you’re never really alone there.

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1 Comment »

  1. I know exactly what you mean. After my last relationship ended, I realized that I did the same thing though – I was part of a couple and very happy about it. I totally forgot about my friendships. It doesn’t become apparent until you’re out of the relationship. I’m hoping that by the time I get in my next relationship, I’ve learned from previous mistakes.

    Anyway, now that I’m single I’m like, “wtf. where are all my friends?” And they’re all, of course, with their boyfriends/fiances/husbands. I have ONE single friend who lives 45 minutes away, it really sucks some times. Thankfully, I don’t let myself feel too lonely for long – I try to go somewhere and I end up talking with random people too.

    Comment by Ashley — August 12, 2012 @ 11:29 pm | Reply


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