Cafe de Desiree

January 26, 2012

Being the Car Crash

Filed under: Uncategorized — desi83 @ 8:10 am

“Headlights On Dark Roads”
(Snow Patrol from “Eyes Open”)
For once I want to be the car crash
Not always just the traffic jam
Hit me hard enough to wake me
And lead me wild to your dark roads

Headlights show it all before me
So beautiful, so clear
I will reach out and take it
’cause I’m so tired of all this fear

My tongue is lost so I can’t tell you
Please just see it in my eyes
I’ll pull the thorns from our ripped bodies
And let the blood fall in my mouth

This is the song that is in my head right now because these lyrics describe exactly how I feel right now. I want to be the car crash. I need to make an impact, a big one, not just a ripple. I can’t be satisfied with this, what this is right now. Hmmm…ah well, I’ll just have to keep trying to figure that one out. I think we are all here to make some sort of impact, and it is just a matter of finding what you can do to make that happen. The worst thing that can happen is to end up a character in a Tolstoy story, lamenting your wasted life in your dying days. I just feel like this is my time, right now, because I am so much more anxious than ever before. I suppose I could give a meaningful effort to publishing my book. That would definitely be a good one to check off the old bucket list. To have an entire book published, yes, that would be car crash worthy. Because as the lyrics say, I’m tired of all this fear.

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